So We’re Not Supposed To Say “Sex” In Church?

We explore how faith and desire can coexist without shame and why honest, practical talk about sex belongs in church and everyday life. Miracle Sims shares the origins of God, Sex, and Love, the role of community, and coaching insights for singles who want marriage.

• balancing conviction with real desire
• why faith and sex must be discussed together
• handling criticism while owning a mission
• church fellowship as support and witness
• learning from others’ mistakes to avoid harm
• discipline, readiness, and marriage mindset
• coaching singles beyond stereotypes
• treating people as individuals, not categories

You guys can go to Godsexandlove.com and access all of that in one place
Send us a message on Instagram at Diivaontheradio
It’s Diva with two i’s, D-I-I-V-A on the radio

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Miracle Sims And The Premise
• 1:05 Single, Faithful, And Wrestling With Desire
• 3:20 Why Start God, Sex, And Love
• 6:35 Mixing Faith And Sex Without Shame
• 10:02 Handling Criticism And Owning The Mission
• 12:18 Church, Fellowship, And Showing Up
• 16:20 Community, Counsel, And Staying Grounded
• 20:30 Upbringing, Autonomy, And Parenting Faith
• 24:40 Learning From Others’ Mistakes
• 27:20 Discipline, Readiness, And Marriage Mindset
• 31:05 Coaching Style And Real-World Cases
• 34:10 See Individuals, Not Stereotypes

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:02

Hi, I'm Carleen, and this is Diva. Tonight, this is 40 a female perspective. Not always our guest 40, exactly, but that's okay. That's okay. I'm joined with my special guest all the way in Atlanta, Georgia. Is Atlanta, Georgia? Alright, we're back. Yeah. Pretty much around the area. Look, they call all the surrounding areas Atlanta, so okay, cool. Her name is Miracle Sims. Uh, she's a wife, mother, and a faith-driven entrepreneur who isn't afraid to talk about real issues. She's the host of the God, Sex, and Love Talk Show, an author and a Christian accountability and a cultivation coach. Wow, you have quite the resume. And so to get things started, how do you guide women of faith to balance spiritual values with their intimate lives?

SPEAKER_02: 1:03

It depends on who I'm talking to, right? Is this a single woman? Is this a married woman? Is you know different conversations. But Okay, well, let's use an example.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12

Let's use me as an example. Since I'm the host, I'm single, like I'm not married, but I do understand that I think sex is more intimate, and when we think about it, and it's a hard conversation to have, right? So But yeah, you said we have to talk about who we're talking to, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:31

So Right, right. Well, with you being single, um, I mean, we'll pretty much just start there because that's what ultimately led me to be on this journey that I'm on today. Me and my single years out struggling, right? And as a believer, I, long story short, was just really seeking the Lord about like, okay, I'm single, I'm horny, I know what I'm supposed to do as a Christian, but where's my husband at then, Lord? Like all the different questions that I had at that particular time. And so I don't know if it's a struggle for you or or or whatnot, to be single and whatnot, but for me it was a struggle to be single because I didn't want to be single. I wanted to be either in a relationship or married, you know, all these different types of things. So during that particular time, I was looking into different, I guess, content things to try to help me in my particular position again as a believer, because there's another added layer to being a single Christian, I believe. Just because it's like, okay, being single, I mean, it depends. Like, if you're not a believer, then you probably think, oh yeah, I'll just go out, do what I want to do, X, Y, and Z. Well, as a believer, that's a little bit difficult because then you got this thing called conviction, right? Or you got this thing, yeah. I'll just focus on the conviction because I mean I know there's outside influences as well, but I think for me, it was like the internal, like, okay, I know what I'm supposed to be doing. I've I've read the Bible, I've studied, or I grew up in faith, that type of thing. So it's like, it's not that easy to just go out and just do all the things, even when you try, depending on who you are, again, as well. But for me, if I just keep talking about my testimony, even when I just was like living my life, doing my thing, fooling around, not trying to do too much, but still wanted to do a lot. Like I said, it was a struggle. And so I'm going, I'm seeking the Lord. I'm like, well, where's my husband at, Dan, Lord? Because that's all I need, right? To do what I want to do when I want to do it, right? You know. And so, long story short, I was looking for content. When I was seen online at that particular time, I saw Christian talk shows and they would, you know, they just only go so far with the conversation. Cause so I couldn't really relate. I'm like, y'all ain't, y'all acting like y'all ain't never been hot and bothered, you know what I'm saying? Y'all acting like y'all ain't never like, you know, had a trying time or whatever the case may be. And then I would watch what you would consider to be secular or, you know, content that wasn't necessarily faith-based Christian. And they would talk about everything, but then they wouldn't, they wasn't telling me what I needed to hear as a believer. So seeing those two things at that time, and I was in my 20s then, but seeing those two things happening, that just kind of enfolded me to just get online and just start talking. At that time, I just kind of was wasn't going live then, because that this was back when YouTube, you had to upload a certain amount of minutes, and it it was all this other stuff going on.

SPEAKER_01: 4:20

Yeah, that the the internet has changed. And yeah, I think you know what? If we had started our journey to like in 2008 when it was just booming, who knows what it would have been like now. But I think what you're saying is true. Like, God, sex, and love, your concept is different because there's not a lot that combined the two. Like, it's either, like you said, it's either we're talking talking about sex, like, you know, everyday, like breaking uh comp the the narrative and like taboo conversations about it, or we're talking about religious. Like, I mean, uh obviously I could find a podcast on religion, but we're not gonna mix the two because apparently it's against Christianity to even talk about it. You know what I mean? Like Is it like I mean if you were talking to have an interview with a priest, not a priest, like a pastor, would you s would you ask him about his sex? Would you even bring that up?

SPEAKER_02: 5:19

Um, well, it depends again what he's coming to talk about. I mean, we've had pastors come and talk about their sex lives, you know, on GSM. Yeah, we would on our platform, but before, like, I don't know if people would would do that, you know. And I think that's the thing for me, like when I think about again, God's sex, love, and everything in between, I believe that God is the creator of all these things. And so for me, when I look at the world and I look at like broken homes or you know, all the different hot topic conversations that I'm not saying everything has to do with sex, but when you look at it, like sex is a part of like a lot of the big hot topic issues that people have. And so it's like, why are we trying to act like, you know, if we believe that God created all things, right? Then we need to include God in the conversation because if he created it and he has this way he wanted it done, X, Y, and Z, that's what we say we believe as Bible readers, then there's no need to clutch our pearls when we hear the word sex and you know stuff like that. Because again, we have freedom in that area. It's just there are certain uh obviously stipulations that the Bible has to say. And so, you know, I guess again, that led me to get online and I just was kind of sharing my testimony and letting people know that, hey man, you know, I'm struggling out here. If anybody else is like me, here I am. You know, I wasn't necessarily trying to start a podcast at that time, I just was just sharing, you know, and saying that, hey man, you know, you're not the only one, you're not alone. And so those videos are still up. It's like me with a little fro, and I'm just at that time and just talking about how I felt as a believer and it and just the different things and struggles that I was having at that particular time. And lo and behold, I would say that those videos that particular time was the I guess the beginning stages of what people see today as God, sex and love. Like, you know, eventually I had the idea to have a talk show. God, sex and love. I the name itself, I would say it's my testimony in a nutshell. Because I feel like God used my desire to please him, my desire for sex, my desire for love to draw me nearer to him. And so that's where it comes from. I know people are like making a big deal, even still now. People are like, ooh, this did this channel shouldn't be whatever. And I'm like, if you don't get it, you don't get it. I mean, it's five years for us now. I'm not changing the name, and it's it is what it is. And it's my testimony, so it does kind of hurt when people have negative things to say. But at the same time, I feel like, again, with everything that has happened, especially since I've launched and it put it out publicly and been doing this for five years or whatever. I'm just like, you know, I see the purpose. And I I feel like there's a lot of people that get in, see it. Um, those that watch, those that have been on the channel. And so I'm here for them. You know what I'm saying? And um, I guess again, everybody's not for everybody, and that's okay, you know. But yeah, so hopefully I answered your question. I mean, I know what you're doing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 8:05

I feel like I was saying I I think you're talking about just how you've gotten to here and now and why God, sex, and love. And I think when you have a an a different idea, a lot of people there's there's always going to be someone to say something. And you just have to take it with granted yourself sometimes because I it is hard. It is hard when like this is not my only podcast. I have a podcast, it's called Not Magnation, and I felt like when I created the show, even though I don't live in Grenada, I'm relating it to you with your idea because not everyone's gonna appreciate Goscks and Love. So it's called Non Magnation. And when I started it, I had so many negative people. And then even when I was doing the research behind it, because Grenada is a very small island. And for me, even though I've lived in Canada most of my life since I was here at six, I felt like I had to somehow educate whoever's gonna listen on this topic of Grenada because not a lot of people know about it, but I feel like with going back to you, that with your show or your podcast, whatever you're launching with this, I think you're trying to tap into both sides of it because no one else is doing it. And so that's usually when an original idea comes by. And you're always gonna have people that are gonna challenge it. They're gonna be like, well, why are you doing it? Why are you mixing the two? It's supposed to be like you're not doing the norm, right? And when you go against the norm, the normal way of doing things, there's always gonna be people who have something to say without any backing on it. So I think like kudos to you for doing that, you know what I mean? I guess it's it's it's you know, it's you, right? And you got the idea and and and here we are now, right? So five years later to talk about it, right? I think when if we're gonna talk about like just God's sex and love, just God itself. Like I think um even with with religion and and and just practicing itself, I don't think I've done it in a conventional way. Like I don't go to church every Sunday. I go to church when I can because I work Sundays too. But I think I've had this convers I've had this conversation with my dad and many others, and I've always probably given my mom mad when it when we talk about religion, like when it comes to Christianity, I feel like if that is your belief system, that it you don't necessarily have to go. I feel that you don't have to go to church in order to say that, okay, I believe in God and this is my way of life. I'm I'm not saying that you should not that, you know what I mean? But if you believe in it and you practice it in your own way, like when you make the time to go to church, that's important too. But you can tell me what you think about that in terms of your lifestyle. Like, what do you think?

SPEAKER_02: 10:58

Well, I mean, I guess I am an advocate for again believers gathering and fellowshipping together. Honestly, we're supposed to do it's important to do life together because if we stay in isolation, then obviously the enemy can use that and whatnot. I mean, my husband unfortunately doesn't go every Sunday either. I think he has the same perspective and whatnot, but I see the importance of it because I'm like, when I look at our son, or when I look at, you know, he's only going with me now, and yes, he sees the other men at the church, but let's just say if all the men had the perspective of my husband, for example, like what the the young boys there, who do they have to look up to? You know, I think a lot of times when it comes to again fellowship, and we we kind of think like, oh, well, you know, what purpose do I serve? But you just never know, like, that who is there that needs you, right? That needs you and your perspective. And so, you know, I I've worked and served at the church that I go to um by the grace of guy, like he opened that door for me over the past five years. Not to say it wasn't something I thought of. I never thought of having the job. I, you know, I feel like I was placed there, but regardless of all that, basically, but I see like the benefit of me being there and doing the things that I am doing in the role that I'm in. Because, for example, like for the longest time, I did just hire another lady to do preschool area, but I was the only woman on the kids' ministry team at some point. And so, again, let's just imagine I wasn't there. You know what I'm saying? It was just, and not to say that the men ain't gonna hold down the ones that are there and certain, you know, and doing their roles, but you know, I just when I look at the little girls that look like me there, you know what I'm saying, or the the girls that are there, you know, the fact that there is a woman in the room. I mean, you know, in in the leadership or whatever the case may be, it it means something. So I just would say, like, you know, I don't judge what people do. Obviously, again, I'm a husband, I don't judge that fact that he didn't go every Sunday, stuff like that. Um I just would say, like, I guess we gotta think beyond like just our own personal like idea of like, oh, it there's no purpose to me going. Like, there could be some huge purpose for you to be in that that fellowship. You know what I'm saying? Because again, when you serve in whatever you decide to serve in, or you know, again, just being there and knowing that, okay, I can go to my brother and sister in Christ when I have those ups and downs, because I feel like that's one of the misconceptions about being a believer is that you think, like, oh, you're a believer, and then yes, everything's pieces of cream, and you know, you have peace. That's the past is all understanding. And yes, you do, right? But you're still gonna go through trials, you're gonna go through the ups and downs, and you know, we need to be.

SPEAKER_01: 13:34

Life is still happening, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 13:36

Yeah, and you know, you need people that's gonna like encourage you and give you good sound biblical wisdom if that's what you believe in, you know, or versus like you just not having that, and then you don't have counsel, or you don't like that's one thing to not have counsel at all, but then when you do have counsel, there's some people that'll give you bad advice, you know what I'm saying? So I think all of that stuff matters when it comes to um, you know, fellowship and and you know, actually going to the church and stuff like that. But, you know, I get it. I get it. We definitely are in this season where, you know, again, there's virtual, there's all these options out here these days.

SPEAKER_01: 14:09

So I understand like why people may feel like meh isn't necessary, but I would say that it is, just because you know, you just never know like you said, with anything, like with any practice, even if it's not, like if it's not being really or you know, um living a life in faith, like I find, like you said, society will find ways for you to just get away from that or that way of thinking, or like I'll give you an example, not only with religion, but I also practice meditation and my instructor, I'm joining another workshop. But long story short, when you go when you after you take the workshop, like I did nine weeks, and then after you're done, the problem is even though you're practicing every day, if you don't go like she's always mentioned, going to other meditation classes or whatever, because you're gonna fall off. Like even though you have the best intention, it's so hard sometimes because we get busy with life. Life happens, right? Just like with church, you get busy with life, you have other obligations, other things you have to do. So, like with anything, we need that community to help us get back on track sometimes. Because like I get what you're saying with that too. Totally because you could get steered the wrong way, and then you're like, Well, why did I do that? And like, you know, yeah, in your thoughts and that kind of thing. But you live in a very challenging time now. So I think it's like this virtual way. I I feel like I I'm holding on, like miracle, I'm holding on to like the 90s when it comes to music and like certain things because even the shows I watch, I still watch the new things, but I feel like we've advanced with technology, which is amazing, but we've also lost a lot of sympathy. And so we have to keep tapping into those things before it's completely gone, right? Yeah, watching Living Living Single last night, man. I love that Living Single. Oh my gosh. You know what? I watch I I watch this comedy spit with Mike Myers from like back in the day, Saturday Night Live, and I'm just laughing because now we have to be even so careful with that. Like comedy is is like there's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_00: 16:26

Diva tonight, glamour for your ears. This is 40, a female perspective.

SPEAKER_01: 16:33

I do have a question. So getting back to the original topic and and how you practice your your lifestyle, but was faith a very strong part of your life when you were growing up?

SPEAKER_02: 16:43

Yes, I would say so. So my mom was an evangelist, and so we would be going to different churches, she would be ministering in different ways, things like that, you know. So, and she still does and whatnot as well. So, yeah, I would say that obviously I grew up in the faith, but I would say the most formative time of my life was that time in my 20s. I call that the cultivation period. I wrote my book about it, things like that. But that was my time of really tapping into everything for myself. Like, yes, I, you know, learn and knew and stuff like that, and at different crossroads moments in my life, I would go to the word because that's what I knew to do, things like that when I had my questions and stuff. But I would say, again, taking that journey with the Lord and saying, okay, Lord, what is it that you want me to do? And then getting on the path that I'm on today was a whole it's again, it's it's something totally different to like walk the path yourself versus like, okay, yes, I'm depending on my mom's prayers or something like that. So all believer, I mean, everybody has to make that decision for themselves. Like nobody else can stand up for you, you know, or yeah, do anything for you in that regard. And you have to again decide what you believe about Jesus yourself, and then I think that's when something can really be done in your life, or you can, you know, whatever changes and whatnot can can start to happen and stuff. So again, I I'm not sitting here acting like I'm perfect just because I, you know, No, no, I don't think so.

SPEAKER_01: 18:00

Yeah. Like I think you guys Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 18:03

I'm grateful for the upbringing. Um, because obviously again it helped me to to know where to go when I did have different crossroads moments in my life. So that's the beautiful thing about again training a child in the way they should go and and teaching them when they're young, things like that. But yeah, they still have the the child, like I my son, like you know, he has to like make that decision for himself and hopefully, you know, the things that we're doing will encourage that and stuff on his journey. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 18:28

And and even with that, so if he wants to, you know, if he wants to find the same faith or go in a different direction, will you support him regardless? Like, you know, I I know that's a hard question to ask.

SPEAKER_02: 18:41

I mean, I I love him regardless of things of that nature. You know Is it hard? Is it hard?

SPEAKER_01: 18:48

Yeah. Because you're a mom, do you think like like I don't know how old your son is, but do you think like when you're like now your understanding of like your mom's role and like, you know, giving you a different perspective in that way? Like, you know. Uh well he's he's six right now, so Oh, he's still young, okay. Yes, yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 19:08

But like when I think about like my family, right? I feel like the odd person out. Like I feel like the black sheep sometimes. And and it's not that we have different faiths or anything like that. It's just that, you know, I feel like I'm on a journey and stuff, and and it may not correlate to the journey of my family, whatever the case may be. And so with that being said, I think I don't know like how I would handle it and whatnot whenever that day comes and he's making decisions and stuff like that, and he becomes a man and all. But I just hope and pray that again the things I'm teaching him today, right, is going to encourage him and inspire him in those later years. Like how, again, my mom's upbringing. Well, I would say mostly my mom, because it was me and her for a long time. Um, my father passed before I was born, so that's a whole thing there. Long story short, so the year that I was born, he passed in May, and I was born in August, so that's how well that's what I mean. Um so yeah, and so it was me and her for like like my first five years, and then she remarried my stepfather, who's the only father I know. So my father, you know, he remarried she remarried him, and then my sister was born, different things like that. And so I don't know why I got so deep into that part, but I yeah, I guess just again, knowing that I can understand that okay, he's he's his own individual person. Again, I know one day he's going to be a man, so he's gonna have to make decisions that I might not like, or you know, different things like that. And so I just would hope and pray that I'm not going to be uh at least thus far, I don't believe that I would be the type of parent that's like forcing him to do whatever, because again, I understand that he has to make his own choices. And then I also know how it feels to feel like people expect certain, you know, I guess put certain expectations on you. So I wouldn't want to do that. But at the same time, I I would hope that he would stay in the face, and I would hope that he would again continue to learn and grow in the faith so he can, you know, teach and do whatever else that he can do for Lord versus like and and can't and maybe avoid a lot of the you know, I know we can't avoid every down season, but there's a lot that we can avoid, right, if we stay on the the right path.

SPEAKER_01: 21:12

So And why do you think those things are? Like what can we avoid?

SPEAKER_02: 21:17

Uh well, there's a lot of things. So one of my things, one of the things my mom taught me and my sister was to like learn from other people's mistakes. So there was a lot of people that, and again, no judgment, people who live their life, you know, X, Y, and Z. But for example, you know, I did have friends that, you know, got pregnant in high school, you know what I'm saying? Um I didn't live that. I you know, I got pregnant when we got married, you know what I'm saying? So, you know, he's sick, so that was that that's fairly recent, you know. Like that. You know what I'm saying? So I was able to live, you know, my twenties on my own, and you know, I was able to do, you know, different things like that. So you can learn from other people's mistakes by and it's not just again, just their mistakes, but just just you know, again, being observant, listening. Again, I sit here and talk to my son about this type of stuff all the time. Like, you know, hey son, okay, like on one hand, I understand you want to do what you want to do, but you gotta understand that me and your father parents right now, and so you know, if you do what we say, don't you see the difference between like when you do what we say versus when you don't do what we say? Like there's a difference, right? You know, things like that. I mean Yeah, yeah. Now I know that's the kitty perspective, but like just imagine in your adult life, like a lot of things that again, I think good parents, right? Usually if if you got a good parent, then they're trying to, you know, lead you in the right direction. They're not trying to like make you fail or fall or you know, things like that. And so a lot of times, again, if you we we might look at parents or whatever and look at them like, oh, what do you know? Whatever. And I get it, you know, we teens, you know, we think we know what we he thinks he knows. We do, yeah, we do. We always think we know. Yeah. He's the first grade think to me right now. I'm like, kid, I know all the stuff you learn. Like, you ain't just answer the question. Like, you know, so I'm I've been praying about this whole virtual public school thing. I'm like, I feel good about the choice, but at the same time, I'm like, you got me questioning the things, man. Like, cause you you be trying it sometimes, you know. But again, we can be the same way as adults, right? You know, our parents are trying to, you know, give us wisdom or you ask for advice or or whatever. Like, even if you don't talk about parents, let's talk about like coaching or something. Like, people come and they talk about their dreams, they talk about the things they want to do, and I'm like, okay, here's some advice, here's some things, you know, here's some resources, X, Y, and Z. But until people are ready to do the thing, like, I can sit here and be cheering them on the whole time, but they gotta do the thing in order for it to be done. Like, I, you know, I can't do all the things for you in your life, right? And so, again, it just really depends. Like, are you going to accept sound wisdom? It's just different things like that. So, yeah, a lot can be avoided if we do, you know, stay focused and do the right things. Or, you know, you can learn, like my husband says, uh, his grandma taught him, I guess bought sense is better than borrowed sense. So instead of learning from other people's mistakes, like I did, he was like, I guess I use the perspective of like going through the thing. But I'm like, but sometimes you ain't gotta go through the thing. But some people sometimes people do.

SPEAKER_01: 24:05

So the the saying is always like you said it in different two different ways. But I remember saying, like, you know, like sometimes you just have to learn from your own mistakes. Like, you know, there's that rebellious, like I was a kid, just didn't always want to listen. And I think, like, you know, my friend my mom used to say, friends will bring you, but they won't bring you back. And like, I'm like, what are you talking about? You know what I mean? And then it isn't until you're actually experiencing it and seeing that, wow, I guess she wasn't my friend. You know, like maybe you have to learn that way sometimes, you know what I mean? Because you like when you're younger, you don't always see people's intentions. Like, that's the thing. Like, it's the innocent, or just believe hoping that this person is a good person, you know what I mean? Like, there's certain things like we can't prevent from happening, but it's true. Like, I mean, wisdom is is more like is is a thing, right? Like, I mean, you can you you've you've lived your your life and had those experiences, and so you can, you know, share that with your son, and then your mom said the same thing. So I think it's like you you we do learn from other people's mistakes, and like you know, yeah, both are definitely important.

SPEAKER_02: 25:15

And I and I this interesting thing too, because even again, if I think back on coaching and stuff, like sometimes people are talking to me about different stuff, and I'm like, you know, telling them again my experiences because sometimes they want to know that type of stuff. And I'm like, I'm always gonna encourage somebody to do be better than I was, you know. Um, because I think sometimes too, like we think, okay, well, it worked out for you, you know, but it's like, well, we're two different people, you know what I'm saying? It might not work out for you, you know what I'm saying? Like it, you know, and so it's just one of those things to think about because again, everybody's life isn't, I guess, cookie-cutter in that way. It's I can sit here and say all day long, like, yes, I did this, I did that, and I did that, and I avoided this, I avoided that. And so, yes, go on my journey and do what I did. But I'm like, no, no, because you're a totally different person. So you probably have a totally different experience, even if you do everything I did, you know. And I just don't think at this point in my life, right? Look, almost 40, you know, I don't think you know type of risks and chances is is not all the time. Like, it depends what we're talking about, you know what I mean? I'm a risk taker, you know what I'm saying? I don't get out here and you know, oh, I want to make every book I want to publish, or you know, stuff like that. Like, I take risks in that regard, but I don't like, you know, but there's some things where you're like, hmm, like, do I want to give me an example?

SPEAKER_01: 26:26

No, you know? Yeah, but like when you say it like that, it's very general. So what do you mean? Give me an example, taking a risk with what? Like going out past your curfew or like doing something that's not right in society, like you know, going out late at night, going out with your friends to the club. Like when you say you take risks, like, or taking a risk with a business, like where a lot of people are like, I don't know if that's a good idea right now. Maybe do some more research, see if it's really worth it. Like when you say risk, what what kind of risk?

SPEAKER_02: 26:58

So, okay, so for example, there's a few examples I could give, but like again, when I think back on people that I've tried to help or whatever the case may be.

SPEAKER_01: 27:05

And yeah, you were talking about with your coaching out.

SPEAKER_02: 27:08

Yeah, like some talk about like again, entrepreneur endeavors, things like that. These people, I guess sometimes I've come across some people that don't, I guess, take the risk to, you know, just publish the book or do the thing or just go ahead and get things in place for the the entrepreneur endeavors you want, right? But then they'll the these same people will like take the risk with like their money and you know, on all these one I think for me, and that maybe because I got an entrepreneur mind, but it's like for me, yeah, I would take the risk to like start a business or you know, get something established or something like that versus like he like at some point I had to make a decision. And um when I again when it came to like fooling around and all the type of stuff. Like I had to have my come to Jesus moment. It was like, okay, wait, miracle, you say you want to be married, you know what I'm saying? You say you want to be in a relationship. Why are you fooling around? You know, I had to be honest with myself about those things and make a different different decision. And it hurt at the time. I'm like, dang, I gotta cut off the friends for benefits, you know, all that type of stuff. But I had to do that, you know, and here I am today on the other side of what I want where I wanted to be. I am married. I do, you know, have a child, like all these different things. And so I I would say that's a good risk versus like maybe during that season I should have been more focused on getting business stuff going versus fooling around all the time, you know. But then you let years go by and stuff, and then you're like, oh well, I never got that. But I'm like, well, what what changes? Like what came, what were we doing with the time? Because I think a lot of times we think we have time and then we don't.

SPEAKER_01: 28:37

You're like, you but you know what? As I look back, like you're like in your 20s, you're still figuring it out. And even in your 30s, too. Like, I I mean, every everybody's past is different. And and I guess I understand what you're saying with that when you talk to other clients about like, well, why are you taking the risk with your body and like you know, and and that's something that they have to deal with, and and maybe it's comfortable for them. It's so hard. Like, I mean, to to pinpoint it, like something happened to them when they were younger, you know, their own experiences or like their even their own role models, like trying to break free from all that. Like, I I I'm telling you, it's like having to relearn. As someone who had, like, I didn't have like what you call it, like the greatest examples in terms of my parents. Like, I I think from my brain, I'm like, I don't want to be like you're not like what I consider to be the a role model. Like, I I didn't think my mom was a role model based on the decisions she made, but there's certain things that said, like when you want to get married, I think it it takes a certain discipline. Like you have to be disciplined. Like, and I and I don't know if everyone wants to do the work that's involved. And that's the thing. Like, discipline with your finances, discipline with like marriage, like you're you're gonna be with one person, like that that takes work. Like, I think. That's that's uh the whole mindset too, like getting in that frame of mind, right?

SPEAKER_02: 30:05

Exactly, exactly. On my own journey, I had to again be honest with myself about where I was, and then I'm like, okay, well well Lord, okay, I thought I was ready for marriage now, but I guess you're showing me that I'm not, so how can I get there, you know, and stuff like that. And it just was again that that personal journey. And I know everybody can't, I'm not saying that it's everybody's path. Like maybe people don't want to be married or something like that. But if you're saying you do, and right, if you're saying that, you know, there are things that you want or whatever, then I feel like we all can work towards those things and and get, you know, not just mentally prepared, but just prepared in general for that season.

SPEAKER_01: 30:40

So what kind of coach are you, though? I want to ask you that.

SPEAKER_02: 30:43

Yeah, I so I call myself a cultivation coach. I mean, I know like most clients, I guess you would say, they they are, I guess, talking to me about, you know, their dating life, different things like that. But I kind of wanted to stay a little bit general just because instead of me saying, Oh, yes, I'm a dating coach, I would say more so like accountabilities because you know, I've also coached someone that wanted to like make a children's book, you know what I'm saying? So it wasn't about like just all day, I don't, it's just not all about dating. But I would say that again with what I went through and the book I made and all this different type of stuff. I mean, I do have a heart for my single people, and you know, if I can help somebody on their journey, you know, again to prepare for marriage or you know, think about the way they're currently dating or not dating or whatever the case may be, then you know, I do have a heart for that as well.

SPEAKER_01: 31:28

So what would you be coaching them on? What would you be saying to them in terms of like what they have to think about? You know what I mean? Because maybe you're dating the wrong person, you keep dating the same person over and over again, and you know what I mean? Like that guy that's not ready or like has complicated situations, like you know, yeah. And like you said, we're not getting any younger, so right, right.

SPEAKER_02: 31:54

Um so I mean it's it is kind of like a personalized, I guess you would say, experience. So, for example, about getting too deep into people when there's a situation is there's this gentleman and I talked to sometimes that you know he had he came in with like let's say a spreadsheet, but like very particular, like I want this particular person, this particular thing, blah blah blah. I'm like, okay, that's great that you know that. That's wonderful, right? Okay, so what are you currently dating? Like, where where how is that going? And he he's like in the beginning stage just not dating. It's like, okay, so now we gotta just meet people, you know what I'm saying? So we're starting from the him opening his mind to just meeting people and you know, being friends with people, you know, stuff like that, right?

SPEAKER_01: 32:31

But then, you know, there's people that again, it's another good example here, you know, they're well that's going to different places, you know what I mean, or going using the apps, you know what I mean, or um like how much time to invest in someone if they're not on the same pages, because like, you know, that's the harder thing too, like even when you are just like you said, being friends, getting to know the person, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 32:54

Yeah, again, I think like when I think about his particular situation, I think it's more so about like I think shedding the idea, because a lot of people like to lump people in categories. They're like, women all women and all men. It's like, hold on, because I'm not a woman and I ain't like that. You know what I'm saying? So I think w one of the things I definitely like to remind people of, and even myself sometimes, I have to remind myself, like, we're all individuals, you know. Um, I had to that was one of the bigger things, again, once I got married, because I think I came in with the the all men mindset or whatever when I got married. But then I had to realize, okay, let me focus on what my particular man liked. Because it don't seem like he liked what uh what I thought all men like, you know, stuff like that. And so that is something that, you know, encouraging people to remember that, okay, like get to know people as individuals, you know, don't love people into categories and think all men, all women this because you're wrong. When you say all, you're already wrong. You know, stuff like that. And so I think once we, I guess, get past those things, and then we can again get to know people, like I said, on a one-on-one basis, no preconceived notions, like no, like, you know, and and maybe that's a vulnerable place to be and and try to do because you you can get hurt, like you you were talking about earlier, like think friends, you don't know if they're gonna be good or not, that type of thing. But we can't let like past experiences and stuff kind of keep us from getting to know someone new.

SPEAKER_01: 34:20

All right, that's amazing. Thank you so much, Miracle Sims, for sharing your journey. It's been wow, breathtaking. You know what I mean? A lot to think about in my head here. It's like thoughts are percolating. But anyway, so if anyone wants to check out your show, and you said you have a channel, it's God Sex Love. You have a channel, and also your podcast is So yeah, um, God, Sex and Love, we do have the podcast.

SPEAKER_02: 34:45

That's mostly the daily inspiration segment called Juice, but it's it's also under God Sex and Love, where podcasts are. And then on YouTube, we are God, Sex and Love as well. You guys can go to Godsexandlove.com and access all of that in one place. Um, I'm Cultivation Coach Miracle on Instagram. And yeah, those are the places to go.

SPEAKER_01: 35:04

All right, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight with Miracle Sims. You can check her out, God SexLove. And if you thought this conversation was interesting, do send me a message at Diva on the radio. It's Diva with two eyes, D-I-I-V-A on the radio. And thanks so much for doing it.

SPEAKER_00: 35:25

Diva Tonight with Carlene will be back. Send us a message on Instagram at Diva underscore tonight.