You’re Not “Too Late”: How Women In Their 40s Can Still Build Families

We share a candid talk with Dr. Tara Harding about hitting forty with intention while navigating fertility, hormones, and the medical maze. She breaks down why “unexplained infertility” falls short, what tests matter, and how to choose clinicians who listen and innovate.

• turning forty with focus on presence and boundaries
• nurse practitioner scope and collaborative care
• rural roots and building a patient-first clinic
• IVF, IUI, costs, and demanding a real diagnosis
• endometriosis as a hidden driver of infertility
• male factor testing and outcomes that matter
• open-minded options like PRP and rejuvenation
• traveling to clinics with better age-specific results
• preconception labs for thyroid, iron, hormones, insulin
• inflammation, symptoms, and avoiding gaslighting
• second and third opinions before surgery
• protecting energy, hiring help, and preventing burnout
• coaching access and practical next steps

If you want to learn more about the work that Dr. Tara does check out her website at 

https://www.drtaraharding.com/

Send me a message on divatonight.buzzsprout.com
Send us a message on Instagram at @Diva_Tonight

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Dr. Tara Harding
• 2:30 Turning Forty And Being Present
• 5:15 Rural Roots And North Dakota Life
• 8:30 What Nurse Practitioners Actually Do
• 12:00 Early Inspiration And Career Path
• 16:20 Family Background And Entrepreneurship
• 19:10 Enter Infertility: IUI, IVF, Costs
• 24:30 Demand A Why, Not “Unexplained”
• 28:10 Open-Minded Care: PRP And Rejuvenation
• 31:20 Perimenopause, Endo, And Real Odds
• 35:40 Choosing Clinics With Better Outcomes

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:02

Hi, I'm Carlene, and this is Diva Tonight. And this is an episode of Women in Their 40s. And I just heard that my guest who is in North Dakota, I've never even been, never had anyone on the show from North Dakota, Dr. Tara Harding. She is a nurse practitioner with a PhD, and she has an amazing background. You know, she's uh also podcaster and coaches women dealing with fertility issues, I believe, right?

SPEAKER_02: 0:37

Yeah, all things women health and fertility. Yep, yep.

SPEAKER_01: 0:40

Yeah. So we're talking about 40 and you know, life in the 40s, and you said you just celebrated.

SPEAKER_02: 0:47

So I'm sorry, we I will be 40 in this coming February. So I'm a few months off days, but yeah, yeah. The last it's the last few months, last for all. Yes.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00

Okay, okay. There we go. Do you feel like you're ready?

SPEAKER_02: 1:03

Like for this next chapter. I I'm gonna cry. I'll just be honest. I took and I did. My manager is very good. She's like, you need to mark some time off. I love vacationing, so we're gonna plan some vacations here. And it's snow skiing season. I love snow skiing. We'll do that. I want to go check out Napa, and you know, I love red wine and skiing. So I mean, I'll just do a little bit of both. I think I'm ready. Like, I don't feel I feel like I'm just getting started most days. And I look back and I'm like, where did the last 10 years go? So much happened during that time. Like, almost ready for the next chapter, but yet sad, right? Like, because I look back and I'm like, wow, that went really fast. I should have soaked this in a little bit more. And so I really have a goal of being more present and soaking things in and really just being in the moment more in my 40s. That's kind of my next takeaway thing that I want to do is soak it in, not be rush, rush, rush, go, go, go, next, next, next. Just kind of be and be still more.

SPEAKER_01: 2:00

Yeah, I feel like technology makes us more go, go, go. Like, like itself, like we're always like the next thing, what's the next thing? What's the what's the next plan? And and you know, for yourself. So because you live in North Dakota, am I right? Like, how many people live there?

SPEAKER_02: 2:17

It's like I know, I feel like I should know the answer to that. I want to say 300,000 and some-ish, which is crazy, right? I where I live, there's about 80, some 88,000 in my two two combined communities. But fun fact, I was born and raised, and my first job working as a nurse practitioner was in a town of 850 people. So, like, I come from very rural, started my business in my basement and like branched out from there to a brick and mortar. But yeah, I come from a very rural background, and it's just kind of one of those like, tell me something unique about you. 150 people. But I worked a decade at the hospital there as a nurse practitioner, worked ER, hospital clinic, the whole thing, and it was a great experience. But North Dakota's small, it's very small, and but I like it. It's you know, I've I've saying why did I stay here? Family. Family is usually the thing, and then what do what do people in North Dakota do? We travel a lot, we leave North Dakota and travel a lot, but love snow skiing the Missouri River. We have pontoons, go to lakes, you know, things like that. But it's safe and great school system, so that's kind of the there's a lot of good, and you get to see all four seasons. There's something nice about seeing all four seasons in in North Dakota.

unknown: 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 3:36

You know what? It is nice, you know. The one thing about summer to fall, fall is about the leaves falling off and like the colors and and like you said, the change of weather. I think that's I've lived here most of my life. I was born in uh Grenada, small island, but like I so I know the small like you said, but I think every time I go back, I keep like I have to remind myself that this is totally different where everyone is friendly, they say hi, and you know, and and it's a different vibe, you know. Even for you working as a nurse practitioner, what's the difference between a nurse practitioner and a nurse?

SPEAKER_02: 4:16

Yeah, so a nurse practitioner goes on for either two to four more years of advanced training. Long story short, what we're able to do as a nurse practitioner is diagnose, prescribe, treat. So we kind of act in that role versus bedside patient care in the clinic setting, we're able to actually act as a provider. And I, again, a great thing about North Dakota is we have full scope of practice. So we're able to work within our full scope. We don't, um, my clinic is I'm the medical director. I don't have to have an MD to oversee me. And so it's really nice to have that. When I worked rural health, we had three nurse practitioners, and we were in charge of the ER, the hospital, the nurse from the clinic. We had a doctor that came once a month, you know, to do chart reviews. But we're really good at collaborating. So we know when it's appropriate to refer, when it's beyond our scope, and work collaboratively as a team with other specialists and other providers. But it's yeah, it we get that more advanced provider role and move into the healthcare provider role versus the bedside role.

SPEAKER_01: 5:20

Is it more or less because you said you have the full scope? So like you have your own clinic. And I think that's the difference between uh nurses and nurse practitioners. Like you can prescribe to as well, right?

SPEAKER_02: 5:32

Yep. Order lab work, prescribe medications, make actual diagnoses and things like that. So yeah, it's that next level with advanced again, master's degree two years. I've got my doctorates, which is four years, three, some programs are three, but I did a four year, so I got to work as a nurse practitioner and go back to school at the same time.

SPEAKER_01: 5:53

So obviously you have a PhD, but is it something that's I always ask this question, and who was an influence? Do you have anyone in your family that has a medical background? Because I find like somehow it trickles down.

SPEAKER_02: 6:11

Yeah, so ironically, I don't have anyone. I'm the first in my family to have a medical degree. Um, I was the second in my family to get a master's, first to get a doctorate on both sides of the family. And so it was actually I volunteered in my rural community in high school. I actually volunteered in elementary school as a young girl. I'd go to the nursing home and help with activities. And then I was on the ambulance. I drove ambulance and became an EMT in high school. And so that's where it kind of then projected me to see that side of healthcare as a nurse. And at that time at our rural hospital, there was several nurse practitioners working too. So I knew that you know, I could be a nurse and be a nurse practitioner if I wanted to be that track. Um, started as a nurse, and I also the only time I worked as a nurse, I worked either rural health or I worked in what was called a float pool. So I got to do ICU, telemetry, ER, surgical, and I loved not doing the same thing. So that's kind of the beauty of like a nurse practitioner, too. Like, no day has been the same, no person is the same. You get to kind of use your brain in a different way, too, putting the pieces of the puzzle together on the next level. So being on the ambulance as a volunteer was where my my inspiration to become that next step healthcare provider came from.

SPEAKER_01: 7:31

Wow. So what did your parents do for a living?

SPEAKER_02: 7:34

Yeah, you're ready for this. This is fun. My dad, my grandpa and dad at the time owned and operated a John Deere store, so sold John Deere farm equipment. And then my dad took that over, so very North Dakota of us, right? And then my dad does some farming on the side, of course. And then my mom, who just retired this weekend, we just got back from her retirement party, 45 years, same job, can't believe it. But she worked at the courthouse as a clerk of court county recorder, so she did that for 45 years. I think she was 19 or something like that when she started. So they're very solid. Dad, I guess you would say, is an entrepreneur in the family. And I always was like, and there's someone who's like, we didn't start our own businesses. Well, yeah, your dad, your grandpa, dad, your dad, dude bought, you know, bought into the dealership, and he's still doing that same line of work too. So they're very solid in their careers, their whole career's been kind of in that line, that industry. But so way different than medical, way different.

SPEAKER_01: 8:31

Yeah, yeah. Like you're just breaking the the mold for the future generation, right?

SPEAKER_02: 8:38

Yeah, I have a first cousin now. She's several, she's probably about I don't know, 10 plus years younger than me. She's a nurse now. So there's another nurse in the family. My my first cousin became a nurse, and I her sister, I think, is on track to be a chiropractor. So I started a little bit of a trend, hopefully, inspired them a little bit to come into the medical field.

SPEAKER_01: 8:56

Yeah. Whereas, you know what? Like, you would fit into my family, because like a lot of like my uncle's a cardiologist, and my some of my aunts are nurses, like my aunt is uh is a nurse, and then a lot of PSWs on my grandmother's side. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 9:17

Yep, that's that I would fit right in.

SPEAKER_01: 9:21

Definitely. So, you know, as someone who is in the medical field, you've had your own medical journey. And I I think the one thing that is interesting to discuss is infertility, and I know you've had quite the experience with it, and it's it's it's one of the things that I think, you know, I think women do talk about it, but not so much to the point where I feel like you know, it's a way to help other women because I've I remember listening to someone talk about you know how hard it was for her to conceive and the expectation from the family that makes it hard. But you have your child, like I mean, your child's seven now, but on the journey, like there, if you had to do it again in terms of the treatments that you did, you said you did IUID, is that right? I U IUI and I V. IUI, yes, yes. Yep. And so if you had to do it again, what what process or would you have tried differently? You know?

SPEAKER_02: 10:26

Yeah, so fun fact, I can speak to that very, very open because I'm part of my journey also included a divorce and job change and all of that, but I'm in a relationship or married again, and we're back in IVF again. I thought, you know, endometriosis was funneling my diagnoses. I was told in the beginning I have unexplained infertility, and that just didn't sit right with me. I was like, how can you give a diagnosis of unexplained? Like, nowhere can I do that. Like, I don't just get to say sorry, can't figure it out, unexplained, you know. And so I never felt as a healthcare provider that ever sat well with me, did not have answers nine years ago when I started this journey. And so, anyhow, when I first started the journey, went through, ended up doing IVF, failing IUI, and in the middle midst of that, too, once we were finally pregnant, I also had a bleed at 32 weeks, and I was life flighted in a helicopter. So I feel like I've had the full spectrum experience of like a patient and a provider, and being a patient really put things into perspective to for me, and not in a good way, almost. I almost I saw all of the ick and the things that were wrong with the system and really wanted to change that. And so I I always wanted answers, I needed to have a why. And I know in life that's not always possible, but in the medical side of it, I was like, how are you just saying not sure why you can't have a baby? Here you go. You know, I feel like I kind of just got pushed into this. Here you go, here's this treatment. Oh, by the way, it's not covered by your insurance, it's gonna cost you$30,000, right? And that is a huge barrier to care for those going through infertility. And so now that I'm here again, I switch clinics again. I always tell patients, you don't have to stick with the same person. And if something doesn't sit right or doesn't feel right, get a few more opinions. That's something that I really push is getting multiple opinions before diving in, but getting a why. And even if that why leads to IVF, that's okay. But as long as you have, is it PCOS? Is it thyroid? Is it male factor? Male factor fertility gets so dismissed, overlooked, no big deal. It's a huge deal, and it's very correctable for many, many patients can have that male factor piece corrected many times, not always, many. It's easier than the female piece, too. And so it's having answers and not stopping until you get an answer is kind of my other big thing is get the why. Again, whether you IUI or IVF, that's okay, but have a do not settle unexplained infertility is garbage, in my opinion. Total garbage diagnoses. There's a why, there's a reason. You just haven't found the right provider yet to give that. So looking back, it's really pushing for a why, pushing for a clinic where you feel seen and heard, and they're open, right? They're not dismissing or trashing supplements or other protocols you might find be on with other providers. They're inclusive, they understand the importance of teamwork, especially when going through infertility, and they're open to that, a very open-minded provider. So my new IVF um doctor is super open. There might be a tree, so PRP, for example, I'm doing currently. So, yeah, PRP is uh platelet rejuvenation. So I take we take my own blood and and do a whole magic process and infuse it back into you, and it's supposed to decrease inflammation, reset your system. But then to take that a step further, she's open to things such as like ovarian rejuvenation, where you take the same uh process and you inject it, you have a special doctor inject it into your ovaries to kind of reset them and really make them kind of like a hard reset and get inflammation really down and kind of give your eggs a better fighting chance at IBF. So she's one who's super open, and I think it's really important to have a healthcare provider who's open to new things. They maybe don't have a 5,000 or 20,000 person study to back it, but is it gonna hurt you to do this? If the answer is no and you can afford it or want to move forward, it's trying some alternative therapies, peptides, very open to peptide therapy and things like that. That's really important. So that is why I also switched because my clinic, which at the time was the top clinic in the country seven years ago when I did get pregnant with my son, is not really that anymore. They're they're they're not so open-minded. And so I really wanted a provider who's really open-minded.

SPEAKER_00: 14:48

Diva, tonight, glamour for your ears. This is 40, a female perspective.

SPEAKER_01: 14:55

So you said having a clinic that's very open-minding is always really helpful. So, with your experience at this age, we are we are like at the age of like perimenopause, menopause, like that whole transition. And so, I I guess my my question about that is like that makes things a little bit harder, like even endometriosis. Okay, let's start from the beginning. So, endometriosis, like having that makes it harder, but it's still possible. I have a friend who did it, and she was told I won't be able to get pregnant, and she got pregnant, didn't plan for that. So it is possible.

SPEAKER_02: 15:34

Yes, I so many women are told that it drives me bonkers. Infertility is one symptom of endometriosis. I have a friend who has five kids with significant adenomiosis, which is where it's in the lining of your uterus, and endometriosis, which is where it's anywhere outside of your uterus. Five kids, no problem. Blinked and got pregnant, right? So infertility is one symptom of that. But uh the us in the endometriosis world, who are very into this, we really believe it's the number one cause of unexplained infertility because it can be silent. So women may have zero period issues, zero symptoms whatsoever of endometriosis, and infertility is their only symptom. And so if you're somebody who's like, you know, you don't have to compare yourself to your friend who has these debilitating symptoms, or you know, is missing school, missing work, that's that's just how Sarah is. You know, it's not how you are. In fertility can be the symptom, and an endometriosis can be silent. And so I finally received that diagnosis. It it and that's why I'm having issues now again in our 40s. It there's a there's a study that shows it's a 7 to 12 year delay in women receiving the diagnosis of endometriosis. I think it's way more because I see women in their 50s and beyond that have have endo surgically found and were never told. And here they've had these debilitating symptoms, you know, their whole life. But infertility at this age, if nothing else is found in our 40s, we have to be thinking endometriosis. And I'll just throw it out there because looking back, um, we we failed IVF, unfortunately, in in April, so we're gonna do it again. But I'm working with a clinic that uh it's called the rejuvenating fertility center, Dr. Maggie's amazing, and he's really up on ovarian rejuvenation. He claims he can get a 70-year-old pregnant, you know, with if if egg quality or eggs is the issue. He had does tons of education on this, check him out. But he claims that at time of menopause, we women have a thousand dormant eggs that were never woke up. I don't know, but he can with ovarian rejuvenation, we can reactivate and get our our ovaries to produce eggs again if fertility is desired. We're busy, we're you know, delaying fertility is super common nowadays. It doesn't mean you're out, it does not mean you're out, like you're not over, you're not over till it's over, and even then I feel ovarian rejuvenation could be the next turning point for options for women in their 40s and 50s if they're wanting to have children and working with a f not all fertility clinics are the same. That's really hard for patients to grasp. The closest one to you might not be the best one for you, just because it's the closest to you, especially in our 40s, when we need to be working with clinics who have really great success rates for fertility and understand because we're a very special population and not all specialize in that. So, again, it is working with the best clinic.

SPEAKER_01: 18:35

Very special population. Are you talking about the fact that where you live, where you reside makes it easier?

SPEAKER_02: 18:42

No, so yeah, sometimes patients will think, oh, well, there's a clinic, you know, two hours away or three hours away, or 20 minutes away down the road, I'll just go there. But what they don't realize is that clinic may have really low success rates for women in their 40s, and so it's worth traveling even out of state. Of course, I'm you know, North Dakota unfortunately has one clinic, right? So traveling out of state for infertility is super common and talked about and well received, you know. But if you live in Toronto, I mean, you might you might find a specialist that is like out of stage or in a different area, and it's gonna be worth traveling for your diagnoses to see that provider to get the best results possible. Because again, this is not cheap, there's little to no insurance coverage for many for this, and so unless you have a fountain of money, you know, most people don't, but like I don't, I don't know. But I want to it's exhausting, right? It's exhausting physically, mentally. You know, those medications, you're taking your hormones and spitting them through the roof, and then they're dropping back down. You don't want to do this that often. You want to do the get the best results the first time around at the best clinic possible.

SPEAKER_01: 19:56

Wow, that is a mountain of information, and I just Have to say, like, you've just opened the idea that, like, the misconception is that at 40 in your 40s, perimenopause, when you're dealing with that, pregnancy might be off the table. But can you break down?

SPEAKER_02: 20:14

I say no. Yeah, I say no. If you I am ready for more babies, I think it's one of those misconceptions, and they tag it with geriatric. You know, you're at high risk because you're geriatric. It's like there's a movement, and I hope it happens sooner than later to rename some of these diagnostic codes for insurance purposes. We're not geriatric. If you're healthy and your healthcare provider has cleared you for a safe pregnancy, and you have no condition that indicates that it would harm you to get pregnant or the baby, carry on. Carry on and know that there is hope for you. Perimenopause is just a little bit of a wavy tide of hormonal up and down. You might need some, again, a team. You might need acupuncture, a naturopath, supplements, and some, you know, provider who can step in and help kind of put this all together or coach. You know, that's kind of where I like to come in. It's a nice way to help women understand all of their options and point them in the right direction and give them all of the options. I many, many of my friends around me are like me. I'm like, I'll take all of the above, please. Like, I want to do all the things to optimize my chances of conceiving, and that's okay. You can do that, you get to do that. So, no, if 40s are the new 30s for pregnancies or 20. I don't like there's there's hope. There's hope. There's no reason, no reason not to think that you can't conceive.

SPEAKER_01: 21:38

Yeah, no, I mean I I feel like you're you're giving uh women hope, you know, by saying that, even from your own personal experience, because it sounded like a rough road, and obviously seeing um someone that you're like, okay, maybe I need another opinion. Because I did that myself when I got, I I actually have fibroids, and when I was diagnosed with that, when you have a doctor who tells it to you and you're like, like it's so shocking, but like when they offer only two options, uh, he only offered two things for me, and I was just like, No, red flag. I was like, no, no, like hysterectomy, I'm sure was one of them. Yes, yes. So he mentioned hysterectomy and myomectomy, and he's like, Hurlen, I've seen so many patients, and you know, he suggested getting a hysterectomy because fibroids tend to come back, right? And so I think I had that wake-up call where I was like yelled at one of my family members because I'm like, Well, why didn't you tell me? You know, yes, sooner. Like, you know, I don't ignore certain things. Like, I'm telling you, like, there's certain signs that like I if I had to go back in time, maybe like get another test done and and ask the questions, because if you don't, the doctor won't know.

SPEAKER_02: 22:57

Right. Outside professionals that aren't in that same line or that same system or a system healthcare, right? Like, go see what a naturopath or an acupuncturist or you know somebody would do for those and see if you can do some of those cares safely before going to the surgical. Surgical's so permanent, you know. It's like, and sometimes we have to do those things. I totally agree with that. But it's like there is other options, and you get to sleep on it. I always tell patients too, you don't have to make that that decision overnight, you can sleep on it a little bit too, get back to that provider before you make any healthcare decision, but especially one that doesn't feel right or doesn't align with what you think is right.

SPEAKER_01: 23:36

But yeah, the the thing is, like you said, surgery is permanent, and then there's other kinds of surgeries. And the thing for me is like when you're in pain and like you know what I mean, and and it's it's it's what's the word? It's causing other issues with like you going to work and like just doing normal everyday things. That's when you start to think like, okay, well, now I have to think of other options because this is not working for me, right? Yep, yep, agree completely. Yeah, but I have one more question. What are some of the biggest health considerations for women thinking about pregnancy later on in life? Like, there's a lot to think about, right?

SPEAKER_02: 24:16

There is. I want to shift their mindset to be more preconception health. Get a workup, and nowadays you can get home kits, right? You can get blood kits sent to your home and and to kind of take the same control yourself and get some answers yourself, or work with a provider distantly that and still get lab tests drawn at home and the you know from the comfort of your home too, and get rule out some possible things years before you're ready. Like maybe you think at that this point in time, like you're looking back, you know, you maybe maybe you're not sure if you want to have kids. But wouldn't it be great to know if you had endometriosis, fibroids, thyroid issues, PCOS before you were ready, or if you're in that stage of uncertainty before you want a baby yesterday, and you're ready tomorrow to have that baby. And now it could take over a year to resolve some of these conditions that were found, or male factor fertility, right? We forget about the male, not we healthcare providers, we forget about it, not patients, all the time. They tell people, oh, that's no big deal. That won't matter. The motility and that was it, morphology, that don't matter that much, and it does matter. I aim for perfect sperm. We can't forget about the other partner, too. And of course, there's things like egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, there's lots of options. Should all of the other ones be off the table as well, too. But I think it's really being just proactive with our health as women. If you don't feel good and you have symptoms that are concerning, and you are being told your lab works normal, everything's normal, and you don't feel good, it's not okay. That is such a red flag. Too many healthcare providers treat the paper, not the patient. And so it's understanding that there's many different ways to interpret labs, believe it or not, ranges are huge. So getting a second, third, or fourth opinion, growing your team, and getting some answers to why you might not just not feel good. You're fatigued, you've got weight gain out of nowhere, you have hair loss, and oh yeah, this is just part of this age. Red flag. Red, red, red flag, giant red flag. That is a sign of an imbalance and a disruption, a dysfunction. I believe in treating dysfunction before it gets to disease and getting answers and getting those things controlled. So it's really being proactive if you're having symptoms of any sort, because those could all impact your fertility. And it those are all little clues or signals or hints from our body that something might be going on and could not always but negatively impact your fertility. So you're gonna want to just get a nice workup and feel heard and get some answers to some of those symptoms that you wake up with on a day-to-day basis because they can impact that fertility.

SPEAKER_01: 26:56

Wow. What a knowledge base there. Okay. So I guess I guess what you're saying is that you know it's always good to have a second opinion and maybe even a third if you're not sure.

SPEAKER_02: 27:07

If you're not feeling heard, right? Like, and if you're with the healthcare provider and you feel great, you're getting answers, like you're very props to you. Carry on, right? Like that is a that is a very great situation that you're in. But I see the opposite side of it where far too often when you're being told, yeah, everything's normal, and we feel like garbage. You know, we're not, we can't get out of bed, we can't fall asleep, we're waking up at 2 a.m. hair's falling out. I'm cold. I mean, I could go on and on waking. These are these are common, they're not normal. Common doesn't equal normal. And it's it's just the dismissal and the medical gaslighting that women have had to encounter for all of these years, and really trying to change that and just feel good every day and get your fertility optimized and get know that you still can have you kids still can have that chapter in your life, even if it is in your 40s. So, what kind of workup would you would you ask for? Like, oh, yeah, hormone. So progesterone, estrogen, and a lot. So that, for example, could be done in the bathroom in your own bathroom. So there's a couple home kits nowadays that exist where every morning you wake up and test your urine. So you can easily do those in the comfort of your home and watch your hormone levels. So estrogen, progesterone, FSH, LH, things like that. Those are very important.

SPEAKER_01: 28:29

Thyroid and you don't necessarily need to ask your doctor for that. It's like just doing on your own. For that, like, sorry to cut you off. I find like when I've asked for that, it's a oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 28:43

You're like, there is no hormones to check, you can't do anything about it anyway. Just such a red flag. I keep saying red, there's a lot of red flags. It's like finding a provider. You can there's natural things you can do to optimize your hormones, but it might ask it might just be adding bioidentical progesterone in your luteal phase. That is one of the best things for perimenopause and for fertility, PMDD, things like that. It's bioidentical, meaning mimicking your own. It's just like your own, it's not synthetic or artificial, it's bioidentical progesterone, just post-ovulation in that luteal phase is a very beautiful thing. Thyroid panel. So many patients are like, I've had my thyroid checked. Okay, tell me about that. They've had two levels checked, not five. So it's it's making sure you get a TSH, free T3, free T4, and antibodies. So it's a full panel, even a reverse T3, possibly in some cases. So give that full thyroid workup, not just two levels. Iron deficiency anemia. Go look at a ferritin level. It's like six to three hundred is the range. And we have patients that are told 12 is normal. Well, you're normal, 12 is normal, and they have gobs of hair. No, gobs of hair falling out, they can't focus, they got brain fog, they can't get out of bed, they get short of breath walking up steps, and they're told that's normal, and it's just not true. And so it's getting, you know, the right plan of care. You might you need infusions at that point. You need a couple rounds, a couple infusions. Let's jack this up here a little bit. Oral's not gonna cut it because I would bet you have gut health issues or you get constipated on the oral, and we need to do some infusions. The other thing I always look at too is inflammation. We talk about the three best friends a lot, which is hormones, insulin, so getting your insulin levels, glucose levels checked for ruling out insulin resistance, not diabetes, but insulin resistance, and then cortisol and working on inflammation in your body and really doing things to bring down inflammation. Because if there's inflammation in your knee, your hips, and your back, you can bet it's going to be in your uterus and impacting your fertility too. And so it's again a comprehensive approach, not just treating one or looking at one, it's looking at all of them. And we also talk about going down all of the lanes at the same time. We don't wait, fix one, wait, fix the next, and fix the other. It's all of them at the same time and really optimizing your entire body. Your head's connected here, your head's not rolling over here from your uterus, it's all connected, you know. So if there's anxiety, depression, you know, cold, there's just any symptom will be directly impacting your fertility too.

SPEAKER_01: 31:24

A lot to absorb, Dr. Ty. Oh my goodness. Let's get to the fun stuff. I mean, this is this is hard, you know. Like being a woman, it's it's not easy, right? You know, there's some, it's not correct. Yeah, and you're very comforting with your knowledge. I feel like I get why you're a coach. You're like, you get you get it done. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_02: 31:46

No more waiting around, no more waiting for answers. We're gonna get it done.

SPEAKER_01: 31:50

Yeah, you you know what you make me think of this one person who is, I think she's going around now because she's in 47, but I'm not I'm not gonna digress to that. But saying that like it's 47 is may not be the end. I think for her, she felt like it was, but you give those words of encouragement that it it it's not the end. And and I do have to say, so you're you're not quite 40 yet, but you're in your 30s, and so a few months off. What's one fun or surprising thing you're really loving about being at this end of journey, like end of the 30s, you know what I mean? Your 30s, you know, when you think back.

SPEAKER_02: 32:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's been eye-opening to kind of look back at the last decade. And I always want, I'm always the type of person, I'm very driven, right? I occur, and this next stage, I'm ready to slow down, soak it in, and not what's next, what's next, what's next. I'm ready just to kind of slow down, enjoy life's small moments more. I sound super tacky, but like I'm ready just to slow down. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna, I don't want to like fulfill my big aspirations that I have as an entrepreneur, still gonna be driven, but it's things like no work after 6 p.m., you know, or seven. And it's things like being present when I'm with my family and friends and soaking in those moments more. And that sounds ridiculous, but I've let myself get pretty carried away with that ad. Like all I used to cook and have my laptop going and be helping my son with something at the same time. Like, that's just wild. Like, why am I doing that? Knock it off.

SPEAKER_01: 33:29

Oh, probably wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 33:32

Multitasking isn't cute anymore for me. So I'm trying to stop multitasking and just be focused on one task and realizing that I don't have and I hiring things out for me, right? I don't need to be the one doing everything anymore. I don't need to be doing the things that I don't love doing anymore in my businesses either. It's okay to hire them out. And how many businesses do you have?

SPEAKER_01: 33:55

Like, I know you're a podcaster, you're a coach.

SPEAKER_02: 33:57

Yeah, so I have the clinic, I have the coaching business, we have some rentals as well. My husband owns an HVAC business, so we have a heating and air business too. And so, yeah, we've got lots. I do speaking as well, and like keynote speaking, so it's lots of like moving parts all the time, and so yeah, it's very there's no dull moment over here in our in our area.

SPEAKER_01: 34:19

How do you do it? Tell us your secret. Oh my wow! I I mean, I knew you were a podcaster, but wow, you multifaceted, multifaceted. I like my second guest to have multiple things going in.

SPEAKER_02: 34:34

Wow, wow, it is, and I don't know. I I always joke, some of it is like trauma responses, you know, where like I was I wasn't in a happy marriage, and then I diverted all that time. I have a nonprofit too, I forgot to mention that infertility nonprofit too. But I diverted all the time that we didn't spend together into nonprofits or my businesses and grew that like evenings would just be on my computer, and then now I'm in a marriage that I'm super happy in, and so it's learning to get out of committees. I was on so many committees, you know, president of the North Dakota Nurse Practitioner Association, this committee, that board, this board. And it was learning that I don't need to fill every minute of my calendar anymore. I can sit down and watch TV. I love reality TV, so it's like turn the computer off. I don't need to do computer and reality TV. I enjoy time with my husband and child. And so it's, you know, saying no to people and saying no to committees and putting some healthy boundaries up is how I do it now. And then I hired a manager finally and helped it's asking for help. I suck at asking for help, and it's being comfortable and knowing it's a very good thing to ask for help, it's not a weakness. Could you do it yourself? 100%. Do you want to? Should you? The answer is likely no. So it's just knowing that even though you can do it on your you could do that yourself, is there something else you could be doing at that time?

SPEAKER_01: 36:01

Yeah, burnout is a thing, and I know all about that. But as we segue out of the conversation, if someone wants that little coaching from you to help them with that, you know, some of the issues that they're having, I guess you are an infertility coach. How do they find you? Like you're everywhere. You're on Instagram and all the Instagram, yep.

SPEAKER_02: 36:25

So I do fertility and women's health and hormones, um, Dr. Tara Harding on Instagram, uh, TikTok, and then my website is drterahharding.com. So you can just head over there. There's a little form to fill out, or just drop into my inbox, just say hi, and let's just kind of get talking, see what symptoms you have going on, see if I can help with them. I can help people anywhere, anytime. I love it. You get direct access to me 24-7, some modules, things like that too. But just knowing that you can take this into control, your own control. Again, like I said, there's a lot of home tests, home kits, home things we can do, whether it's fertility, hormones, whatever stage you're in, and get you answers and get some more opinions. Don't just if something doesn't feel right, you know your body best. You're with your body 24-7. Trust those gut and gut feelings, those intuitive feelings. If it's not right, it's not right for you. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_01: 37:16

I believe that through and through with my own experience and um being in the 40s, it really does make you think about like your own health. Because without your health, you don't have anything else. Like, we have to take care of ourselves. And I want to thank you for sharing all your knowledge. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. Like, I'm still like absorbing it now in my mind, so it's a lot. But I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions. I'm Carleen, and this is Diva Tonight with Dr. Tara Harding. If you have an opinion, you want to share something, send me a message on divatonight.buzzbrow.com. Love to hear from you and what you think about this conversation. Again, thank you.

SPEAKER_02: 38:03

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01: 38:05

No problem.

SPEAKER_00: 38:06

Diva Tonight with Carleen will be back. Send us a message on Instagram at Diva underscore tonight.